


Hidden Truths

by OnlyZouzou



Series: I misinterpreted this [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s06e06 Memento Mori, F/M, Josephine's memories, Missing Scene, Monty is awesome, POV Clarke Griffin, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23281039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyZouzou/pseuds/OnlyZouzou
Summary: 607 - because the memory of Bellamy that Josephine shows Clarke is simply shortened and it was my duty to set the truth right.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Monty Green & Clarke Griffin
Series: I misinterpreted this [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674193
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Hidden Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Bellamy's reaction to Clarke's death is still mushrooming in my soul

**"You were right, we can't let her win."**

Monty nods in my direction and resumes his lock picking as I turn my attention back to Josephine Ada Lightbourne's book collection. My fingers caress the thick leather of the bindings engraved with a VII. Then, the VII changes and is transformed into VIII. It only takes me a second to understand that these are Josephine's memories from now. The memories she creates with my body.

My heart suddenly beats faster when I grab one of them randomly.

***

_Josephine dances and sings, twirls and jumps. A song in French echoes in the room. I can't distinguish the lyrics, but they seem to amuse the young woman very much, as she wiggles around with a new brushstroke on the painting of her self-portrait._

> "Et la tu t'dis que c'est fini car pire que ça ce serait la mort  
> Quand tu crois enfin que tu t'en sors  
> Quand y'en a plus, et ben y'en a encore"
> 
> _"And now you think it's over because worse than that would be death  
>  When you finally think you're doing well  
> When there's no more, and there's still more."_

_***_

I close the book with a sharp flick and grab a second one without even bothering to put the first one away.

***

_I don't recognize the room I'm in, but Bellamy's voice immediately comes to my ears:_

**_"They are a danger to you. You're a Nightblood. And based on what we just saw, that seems to be the only reason they let us stay."_ **

_He seems angry, but I don't have time to dwell on what he says, because already, my brain is running a thousand miles away, and my only thought is:_

**_"Madi. I have to go get her before they find out what she is."_ **

_An incredible relief overwhelms me when Gaia steps in, following the thread of my panicked reasoning, and rushes out of the room in search of Madi._

***

I close the book and catch another volume, desperate to know what's going on there in my absence.

***

_Bellamy has that tormented look on his face. The one that usually announces nothing good, neither for himself nor for me._

_**"Where are you going?"** he asks, unable to calm his nerves._

_**"To see my mother,"** Josephine replied without taking herself apart. **"What's wrong?"**_

**_"How are we on different sides of this?"_ **

_I don't even listen to Josephine's answer. I'm focused on Bellamy. On the way he laid his hands on his hips, the way he almost seems paralyzed, unable to take a deep breath, the way his eyes never leave my face, interrogating and curious._

_When he suddenly switches from English to Trig, I understand._

_He knows._

_In a flash, he grabs my body and pins it against the wall of the room where we are, one hand on Josephine's mouth to prevent her from screaming for help. His "who are you?" shattered and broken, fractures my heart and I can't help but scream when I see the syringe in Josephine's hand._

**_"Watch out!"_ **

***

My outburst makes me close the book and already, I grasp the next one, trembling and eyes burning with tears barely contained.

***

_I enter the room at the same time as Josephine in what I think is her room... or at least what's left of it. The previously perfectly aligned paintings are in pieces on the floor, the cushions torn off, the curtains ripped, the chairs in heaps and the coffee table broken into thousands of pieces of metal and glass._

_In the midst of chaos stands Bellamy. The tie around his hands kept him on the ground, but it didn't seem enough to stop him from giving in to anger and turning everything within his reach into dust._

_He turns to us when the door opens and I can' t stay still, just a simple viewer. I walk towards him almost instinctively, noting with concern the dark circles under his eyes, the red that surrounds them and the way his voice breaks, exhausted, when he asks:_

_**"Why are you here?"** _

_He imperceptibly withdraws when Josephine walks towards him and explains that an alliance would be more advantageous for both of them than this unnecessary conflict._

_I can see the tears flowing in his eyes, and his throat tightening when he swallows painfully. When he turns his head away, I know it' s because he' s unable to look at me, to look at her in that body that was once mine, that is still mine._

_I am standing very close to him now and even if he can' t see or hear me, even if that time has already passed, even if I know it' s useless, I would like to tell him that I'm still here, somewhere, that I'm going to fight to get back._

_My thoughts are disrupted when the door opens again and Russel and Murphy enter the room._

_Murphy? What the..._

_I only need a few words to understand that it didn't take John long to mourn me and choose, as he always does, the winner's side. I'm not surprised, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth._

_Russell, the very figure of the mighty patriarch, looks upset and disappointed. But the words he addresses to Josephine echo in me._

**_"Don't you remember what it's like to lose someone you love?"_ **

_Someone you love. Love._

_Then he turns to Bellamy, contrite, and says:_

**_"I know you're in pain. I know you want your revenge, I would want it too. We had a chance to bring our daughter back and we took it. We didn't consider the consequences."_ **

The rest of this conversation is just a whole blurry and imprecise thing that I don't want to look at a second time. Because I've seen this scene before. I've already heard the deal Russell Lightbourne is offering Bellamy to pretend nothing happened. Like another woman doesn't live in my own body. Like these people didn't just murdered me in cold blood and stole my whole life.

A small part of me knows that Bellamy made the right choice. The choice I would have made. The only choice - if I may allow myself the oxymoron - that will ensure the survival and expansion of our people on this Moon. Yet another part of me selfishly wants to be fought for. To be avenged. That my disappearance is intolerable. That-

_My attention is immediately brought back to the memory in front of me when - instead of accepting Russell's deal, as I saw him do the first time - Bellamy, released by Josephine, throws himself on Sanctum's leader, grabs the strings now hanging on his wrists and uses them to strangle Russel. I stay stunned by his unexpected rage, shocked by the tangible devastation he feels._

_Behind him, Josephine calls out to him and the sound of my voice makes him turn slightly when she says:_

**_"If killing him is what you need, then do it. But let the violence ends here. An eye for an eye..."_ **

_Bellamy hesitates. I can see the gears of his thoughts turning sometimes towards his heart, sometimes towards his head. When he finally releases Russell, the cry he shouts is so animal, so desperate, that tears start to flow by themselves on my cheeks._

_I know I probably just witnessed what was certainly one of the hardest decisions of his life. If the roles had been reversed, it would have been for me._

***

**"Clarke?"**

This time, it's Monty's voice that brings me back to the present, far from Josephine's hidden truths. My friend's eyebrows frown when he asks:

**"Are you crying?"**

I sniff and dry the tears that have run down my cheeks, but nevertheless, offer him a sincere smile.

**"I saw Bellamy, in Josephine's memories. He didn't just quit. He didn't just give up on me... He- He fought for me..."**

Emotion keeps me from finding the right words, but Monty still understands me. The fact that he's a physical projection of my subconscious probably helps a little.

**"Of course he wouldn't abandon you, Clarke. Never. And now you have to fight for him too. For all of them."**

With new energy, I follow Monty through the door he just opened, which finally gives us access to the most protected memory of Josephine Ada Lightbourne.


End file.
